Living righteously in a wicked world requires that we not be afraid to make right choices.

As a young officer in the Belgian Air Force, I was the only member of the Church in all the armed forces of my country—army and navy included! I was soon grateful that I had been taught that righteous standards are not to be rationalized away, especially in times of increased wickedness.

My first assignment to an air force base presented me with ample opportunity to participate in behavior I knew was wrong. Shortly after my arrival, a welcome party was scheduled for the officers’ mess. I knew alcoholic beverages would be served, so I decided to visit with the commanding officer about the party. I thanked him for the welcome and then mentioned that I didn’t drink alcohol. He looked surprised and asked if I had a health problem. I told him that as a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, I believed in what we call “the Word of Wisdom.” I explained this law of health to him and told him that I obeyed it.

The commander asked questions about the Church and why the Word of Wisdom was revealed in modern times. The conversation became a gospel lesson and lasted much longer than I had expected.

“I respect your convictions and think they are wise,” he told me. “I will see that a jar of orange juice is placed next to the glasses of beer and other alcoholic beverages.”

When I entered the officers’ mess a few days later for the welcome party, to my happy surprise a jar of orange juice was sitting on the counter. As it turned out, several officers joined me in drinking juice.

Being righteous when we are surrounded by unrighteous influences is a challenge we all face. Given that reality, what can we do to prepare for—and pass—the test of living righteously in a wicked world?

Strength from Revelation

One way to prepare for this test is to seek strength through revelation—both personal revelation and revelation from prophets, seers, and revelators. Revelation is a Liahona, or compass, that gives us daily guidance, helping us make correct decisions by deepening our understanding of the Lord’s will in our lives. Revelation gives us true knowledge of “things as they are, and as they were, and as they are to come” (D&C 93:24). The Bible Dictionary tells us that “without revelation, all would be guesswork, darkness, and confusion.”1

Personal revelation often includes insights into specific ways we can more fully follow the Savior. These insights safeguard and guide us, help us master our thoughts and desires, and strengthen us to live in conformity with the commandments.

President Ezra Taft Benson (1899–1994) declared, “The word of God, as found in the scriptures, in the words of living prophets, and in personal revelation, has the power to fortify the Saints and arm them with the Spirit so they can resist evil, hold fast to the good, and find joy in this life.”2

Modern revelation confirms earlier revelation. I intentionally use the words modern and earlier, not the words new or ancient. For many people, ancient means “does not apply to me anymore.” The Lord, however, is eternal; likewise, His word is eternal and does not change, regardless of when it is revealed.

The Old Testament, the Pearl of Great Price, and the Book of Mormon all detail God’s dealings with earlier prophets, but they establish a foundation of righteousness that will never change. The testaments, covenants, and lessons contained in these sacred books have application in our time and help us hold fast to the iron rod.

The Large Impact of Small Sins

Today the word discriminate has been co-opted by those who would have us believe that discrimination is a bad thing. But we all discriminate on a daily basis whenever we make a choice. Living righteously in a wicked world requires that we not be afraid to make right choices.

“Many of us are fearful of what our peers will say, that we will be looked upon with disdain and criticized if we stand for what is right,” said President Gordon B. Hinckley (1910–2008). “But I remind you that ‘wickedness never was happiness’ (Alma 41:10). … Evil never was happiness. Sin never was happiness. Happiness lies in the power and the love and the sweet simplicity of the gospel of Jesus Christ.”3

We know that the people of Sodom and Gomorrah were destroyed for grievous sexual sins, but we may be unaware that their refusal to discriminate against lesser sins also contributed to their destruction. The Old Testament warns:

“Behold, this was the iniquity of thy sister Sodom, pride, fulness of bread, and abundance of idleness was in her and in her daughters, neither did she strengthen the hand of the poor and needy.

“And they were haughty, and committed abomination before me: therefore I took them away as I saw good” (Ezekiel 16:49–50; emphasis added).

We also can be destroyed by committing small sins. I could have accepted a drink of alcohol—a seemingly small sin—with the other air force officers. But keeping the Word of Wisdom helped me avoid larger temptations and sins, such as when I was later invited to accompany my fellow officers to a bar located off base. Instead, I chose a better environment, and I spent my free time with true friends who helped me to be my best.

The gospel was the answer, guidance from the Spirit was the source of my strength, and obedience to the commandments was the confirmation of my faith in the Savior.

Making a Difference

Elder M. Russell Ballard of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles has illustrated well the conditions in which we live and our responsibility as Latter-day Saints to make a difference in the world:

“In the Church, we often state the couplet: ‘Be in the world but not of the world.’ As we observe television shows that make profanity, violence, and infidelity commonplace and even glamorous, we often wish we could lock out the world in some way and isolate our families from it all. …

“Perhaps we should state the couplet … as two separate admonitions. First, ‘Be in the world.’ Be involved; be informed. Try to be understanding and tolerant and to appreciate diversity. Make meaningful contributions to society through service and involvement. Second, ‘Be not of the world.’ Do not follow wrong paths or bend to accommodate or accept what is not right.”

Elder Ballard added that as Latter-day Saints, we “need to influence more than we are influenced. We should work to stem the tide of sin and evil instead of passively being swept along by it. We each need to help solve the problem rather than avoid or ignore it.”4

I testify that as we seek personal revelation, keep our eye on the Lord’s anointed, hold fast to righteous standards, and strive to make a difference through our example and influence, we will find joy in this life and in the next.

“The word of God, as found in the scriptures, in the words of living prophets, and in personal revelation, has the power to fortify the Saints and arm them with the Spirit.”

Though blind, my visiting teacher still had the vision of her calling and of what I could become.

Although born into the Church, I had been less active for several years. Nevertheless, I had continued to allow contact from home and visiting teachers, somehow not wanting to sever all ties. One evening I received a call from an elderly woman who identified herself as Jeanette, my new visiting teacher in my ward in Phoenix, Arizona, USA. Jeanette told me she was blind, and therefore would not be able to visit me personally; but if I would permit, she would contact me monthly to give me the message and visit with me.

For many months Jeanette faithfully “visited” me by telephone. I grew very fond of her and looked forward to her calls, although I still didn’t attend church. On one occasion Jeanette helped find someone who could drive my daughter to Utah to visit her father, from whom I was divorced. On other occasions she helped locate babysitters. If she could not contact me by telephone, she would dictate sweet cards with the visiting teaching message or personal “thinking of you” or holiday messages. At one point, Jeanette told me they were revising assignments and asked me if I wanted a “real” visiting teacher. I emphatically told her I wouldn’t trade her for anything, and please not to have her assignment to me changed.

I know Jeanette must have been very discouraged by my failure to attend church, and she can’t have thought she was a successful visiting teacher as she patiently listened to my self-pitying stories. Finally, after years of inactivity, I showed up at church. As I was sitting in Relief Society the roll was passed to me. I saw Jeanette’s name and leaned over to count down the row to identify her. After class, I went and knelt down in front of that lovely woman and took her hands in mine. I said, “Jeanette, I’m Evelyn.” Her face lit up with a great smile, and she placed her hands on my cheeks and said, “Oh, Evelyn, I’m so glad to see you here.”

Jeanette was truly a faithful visiting teacher. She never judged me, never criticized. She only encouraged, helped, and loved. She was not the only reason I returned to the Church, but she was a golden strand in the cord that brought me back where I belonged.

As a Gospel Doctrine teacher, as a Relief Society counselor, and as a ward missionary, I have shared this story with many others as my testimony of the importance of our roles as visiting teachers. We can never know when a word or an action on our part might be the catalyst that would bring another sister back from the depths of sorrow, despair, or trouble. We can only know that if, like Jeanette, we are faithful and persistent in showing our love and concern, we might be the means by which the Lord touches the heart of another to bring or return that person to His fold.

From a devotional address given at Brigham Young University–Idaho on April 29, 2008.

While once again reading the Book of Mormon, I came to the chapter in Helaman where we first learn of Helaman’s sons: “And it came to pass that he had two sons. He gave unto the eldest the name of Nephi, and unto the youngest, the name of Lehi. And they began to grow up unto the Lord” (Helaman 3:21; emphasis added).

These boys not only grew to adulthood knowing, loving, and serving the Lord, but they stayed in that same path throughout their lives. It is to this idea—this staying true and enduring—that I want to devote my words.

Even if you are the first generation in your family to have embraced the gospel, I imagine you grew up feeling spiritual yearnings. All of us, sooner or later, grow up and leave the places that have nurtured and cared for us. I lived at home while attending college, and it was only when I began teaching school and my parents moved that I had to start being grown up and live on my own.

This transition time often is a defining experience in our commitment to the gospel. The world offers both blatant and subtle enticements. We need always to ask what we are doing to our spirit. Is the divine within us being nurtured, or do our actions prevent the Spirit from becoming the predominant force in our lives?

Living unrighteous lives doesn’t take much effort or time, as we observe by what happened to the Book of Mormon people. In the early chapters of 3 Nephi, we see that the Nephites are, for the most part, corrupt; the Lamanites, who have become the more righteous group, are falling away as well. Mormon records:

“They had many children who did grow up and began to wax strong in years, that they became for themselves, and were led away. …

“And thus were the Lamanites afflicted also, and began to decrease as to their faith and righteousness, because of the wickedness of the rising generation” (3 Nephi 1:29–30; emphasis added).

We must be on guard so that we do not “become for ourselves.” That’s an interesting phrase. It implies to me that they looked to themselves first and indulged desires that prophets had warned them to avoid. They yielded to Satan’s enticements and allures. At some point in our lives, each of us must make the choice to embrace our faith or to “dwindle in unbelief” or to “wilfully rebel against the gospel of Christ” (4 Nephi 1:38).

I wish I could tell you that there was a one-time fix to make sure we do not fall prey to these enticements, but there isn’t. However, there is a pattern which, if followed, can ensure that once we have chosen our Father’s plan, we can stay safe; we can stay true.

In 4 Nephi we learn about those who stayed true and whose testimony grew. They were “continuing in fasting and prayer, and in meeting together oft both to pray and to hear the word of the Lord” (4 Nephi 1:12). So prayer and fasting are the first parts of this pattern. For me, one of the most comforting and assuring parts of the gospel of Jesus Christ is the opportunity and blessing to pray. Frequently, we are not in a place where we can vocalize our prayers, but as Amulek teaches in Alma 34:27, we can let our hearts be “drawn out in prayer … continually.”

Coupled with mighty prayer, fasting has the power to move heaven in direct and significant ways. Sometimes fasting can bring a renewal of health and strength to bodies weakened by illness; sometimes it can open up minds and hearts to give assistance to individuals who are in need; sometimes it can cause droughts and famines to be broken. And always fasting can bring us peace—the peace to know that the Lord knows us and understands our needs and hearts.

The next part of the pattern is that they met together oft “both to pray and to hear the word of the Lord.” In many places just getting to church is very difficult and requires a great sacrifice of time and resources. And yet all around the world, millions of faithful Saints do it each Sabbath.

I want to add something else to this pattern—something I believe can do much toward keeping us within the embrace of the gospel. I’m speaking of the temple. Just as we partake of the sacrament each week to renew our baptismal covenants with the Lord, participating in the ordinances of the temple reminds us of the importance of our covenants and strengthens us in our power to overcome the evils of this world.

Prayer and fasting, meeting together often to pray and hear the word of God, temple attendance, and (I hope it goes without saying) studying the scriptures—these are a pattern we can and should follow if we are to remain true and steadfast and grow up unto the Lord.

For the full text of the address in English, visit http://web.byui.edu/DevotionalsandSpeeches.

I knew we couldn’t keep up with our busy schedule much longer. What could we change?

It was a new week, and I looked at the family calendar with trepidation. How could we possibly fulfill all of the obligations we had scheduled?

I plunged in, trying my best to volunteer at the schools, get the children to their various sports and clubs, feed everyone around ever-tightening schedules, and get my early-morning seminary lesson prepared each day. My husband rushed around to get to work and to Church meetings, to visit ward members, and to coach soccer. We were trying to be anxiously engaged in good causes and to be active in the Church, but something was missing. Although many families can handle numerous activities, it wasn’t working for us: the frenetic schedule was taking a toll on our family.

As I pondered this problem, I started to notice how often we had to tell our children no about things they wanted and needed from us. This bothered me, and I started to think about what could be done.

I turned to the scriptures. As I read the Book of Mormon, I came upon the sermon of King Benjamin in which he said, “And see that all these things are done in wisdom and order; for it is not requisite that a man should run faster than he has strength. And again, it is expedient that he should be diligent, that thereby he might win the prize; therefore, all things must be done in order” (Mosiah 4:27).

The prize we wanted was a happier, more unified family. We wanted less stress and more joy, but it seemed that we clearly were not on a path that led to these prizes.

We were diligent, but we were spinning our wheels. We were preparing everything as opposed to every needful thing. I prayed about our situation, but initially no answer came.

Life went on as usual. Callings needed attention, I felt the dishes had to be washed, and everyone required rides to their activities. As I prepared to teach seminary each day, I started to find the answers I sought from the wisdom of our modern prophets and leaders. I came upon an address by President Spencer W. Kimball (1895–1985) encouraging the Saints to hold family home evening. He said: “In our time the Lord has offered his ageless program in new dress and it gives promise to return the world to sane living, to true family life, family interdependence. It is to return the father to his rightful place at the head of the family, to bring mother home from social life and employment, the children away from unlimited fun and frolic.”1

I realized that one of the first casualties of our busy lifestyle was regular scheduling of family home evening. Not long after, our bishop read a letter in sacrament meeting from the First Presidency reminding us to choose our activities wisely and not let the good things we do get in the way of home evening.

As my husband and I discussed this counsel, we realized that a lot of our activities were fun but not needful and that we could benefit from trimming the excess. We made lists of our activities and put them in categories like “needful,” “not needful,” and “needs improvement.”

As we studied our lists, we were concerned about the feelings of our children. Most of the activities we considered cutting were things they were involved in, like sports and clubs. We decided to hold a family home evening and talk this over with the children. When we discussed the problem with the children, we were astonished to find out that they would much rather spend time with us than have us coach their teams or chair their clubs.

From this realization our “Family Club” was born.

Once we fulfilled our obligations to existing activities, we did not sign up for anything new. On nights when we have no Church responsibilities, my husband will come home from work and announce, “Tonight is Family Club!” and the children will hurry to get their homework and chores done so we can spend time together.

Our children like to engage in special projects, especially with their dad. One night they built a computer out of scrap parts. Sometimes everyone will put on tool belts and fix something around the house. The point is that we have the time, energy, and desire to be together.

I also have more time to spend with the children and prepare more nutritious meals for the family. Family Club requires no running around, splitting our family among activities, or eating out. No one seems to miss our life of rushing around and fast food. We enjoy the time we spend together so much that the children no longer want to be so involved in extracurricular activities.

We have reinstated family home evening and daily family prayer. We also tidy up, do personal scripture study, and have family recreational activities. We understand that as the children get older, they will naturally have more activities. We will add them when it becomes needful, but until then, we are enjoying every minute of Family Club.

Fathers who are actively engaged increase their ability to influence their children for good.

Not long ago, I had a conversation with a friend of mine about his recently deceased father. I told my friend how his father had frequently shared with me how much he loved his son—my friend. My friend responded, “I only wish he had told me how much he loved me.”

Sadly, we live in a world that increasingly challenges the sacred role fathers play in the lives of their children. Career, church, and community responsibilities, along with a multitude of personal distractions, can diminish the role of fathers if they are not carefully balanced.

At the same time, we live in a wonderful era, in which the marvelous light of the Restoration and the guidance of living prophets help us better understand how fathers can magnify their potential roles. By focusing on core gospel principles, as Church leaders so frequently counsel, fathers will be able to succeed. We know what many of these principles are—personal and family prayer, personal and family scripture study, personal worthiness, temple attendance, and service.

In addition to teaching gospel principles, there are a number of things fathers can do that will influence their children for good, no matter what stage of life they are in. These include living a gospel-centered life, showing appropriate affection, disciplining with love, listening effectively, spending one-on-one time together, and seeking creative ways to participate in a child’s life.

Children benefit from a father whose life is in harmony with the teachings of Jesus Christ, who strives to keep the commandments, who honors the covenants he has made with Heavenly Father, and who shows respect and love to his wife, the mother of his children.

Show Affection

Children need affection. They need the security that comes from knowing they are wanted and loved by their family. Fathers can show appropriate affection physically, verbally, and through acts of service, each of which sends a strong message of love.

Physical affection can be healing, affirmative, and reassuring. It can take many forms: a pat on the head or arm, a kiss on the cheek, a hug, or an arm around the shoulder. Appropriate physical affection is a great facilitator of bonding between fathers and children.

Other expressions of affection can include sending positive notes or letters, shining shoes, fixing a bike, providing a favorite food, or doing a chore. Positive comments can include expressions such as: “I really liked what you did,” “Thanks a lot for helping,” “You did a great job on that project,” and “You know, you are really good at that.” One young father often left notes of praise or appreciation for his children before he left for work in the morning. Another father had cuddle time as he read to his children at night.

Showing affection verbally means focusing on the good things more than the negative things. Sometimes, especially when disciplining, it may be easier to comment on the negatives as a way of correcting the wrong. However, even then, when fathers can find ways to focus on what their children do well, praising rather than criticizing, it is helpful. Positive comments will build their confidence, uplift their spirits, and inspire them to be their best. Oftentimes even a negative behavior can be corrected by helping the child see and understand a positive path of action.

Discipline with Love

All children need guidance and discipline to mature in a healthy way. Setting reasonable limits and boundaries is a part of responsible fathering. This means that fathers will remind their children of the consequences of their actions, both good and bad.

As a father reinforces good behavior, he needs to remember that “reproving betimes with sharpness” means with timeliness and clarity, not anger, and always “showing forth afterwards an increase of love” (D&C 121:43). Success in disciplining for long-term behavior and attitude change is directly related to the quality of the relationship a father has with his children.

President Joseph F. Smith (1838–1918) gave counsel on this topic: “Fathers, if you wish your children to be taught in the principles of the gospel, if you wish them to love the truth and understand it, if you wish them to be obedient to and united with you, love them! And prove to them that you do love them, by your every word or act to them. For your own sake, for the love that should exist between you and your [children]—however wayward they might be, … when you speak or talk to them, do it not in anger; do it not harshly, in a condemning spirit. Speak to them kindly: get down and weep with them if necessary, and get them to shed tears with you if possible. Soften their hearts; get them to feel tenderly towards you. Use no lash and no violence, but … approach them with reason, with persuasion and love unfeigned.”1

Listen Effectively

One of the best ways to develop relationships with children is to take the time to listen to them. As parents listen, children will share their ideas, feelings, and problems. Parents will discover what their children’s dreams, hopes and wishes are, what their struggles are, and what their children are doing and with whom.

Children need to know parents are truly listening. Some parents fall into the trap of trying too hard to multitask—trying to do other things at the same time they are holding a conversation. Unfortunately, when a father divides his attention between two activities, neither activity gets his best attention and effort. Children will feel the loss.

When an opportunity to talk with your children arises, a father shouldn’t just mute the TV. It should be turned off. A father will be more successful if he adjusts his schedule to listen when they want to talk; if he waits, he may lose a valuable moment. Some fathers have learned to be available when their children come home from school, from dates, or other activities so that they can catch the freshness of the activity with them. When a father is there as a positive support at the crossroads of his children’s activities, he becomes an intimate part of their lives.

It takes patience, skill, and sacrifice to listen effectively. Parents must be patient as children take the time to form thoughts and words. If your children respond slowly, you may want to be cautious not to offer answers for them. Often none are needed, and your children will eventually say what they want and need to say.

The prompts parents use to engage children in conversation can also make a big difference. Open-ended questions, rather than those that will yield a yes or no answer, are more likely to draw children into conversations. Also, fathers need to make sure not to overreact to the unexpected twists and turns their children’s stories take. Fathers who resist the temptation to judge, fix, or lecture—listening instead and gently prompting—will build children’s confidence in them and establish a trusting relationship. Listening effectively can make the difference between relationships that grow and those that flounder.

Spend One-on-One Time Together

Sometimes children will be more likely to share thoughts and feelings with their dads in a more private setting when it is just the two of them. Many fathers already have one-on-one time with a child—driving in the car, playing basketball in the driveway, working on a project, or over a chocolate milk shake. The important thing is that the two are together and that Dad is doing most of the listening. It’s best not to worry much about tasks, focusing instead on thoughts and feelings. This is one of the greatest bonding experiences two people can have.

Creative Participation

As Elder Jeffrey R. Holland of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles explains, “We [are] not surprised that when 2,000 children of all ages and backgrounds were asked what they appreciated most about their fathers, they answered universally, ‘He spends time with me.’”2

Loving relationships develop best as fathers take time to play, laugh, work, read, pray, talk, walk, and engage in other wholesome family activities with their children. Parents often must plan and schedule these activities; they likely will not happen very often by coincidence. In fact, children grow up so quickly that if parents do not look for opportunities to change and adapt, to spend time with their children, precious opportunities may be missed.

When circumstances make it impossible for parents to be at special events, they may find ways to participate indirectly. Perhaps someone could capture an audio or video recording of the event to watch or listen to later with the child. Or dad could sit down with a child and ask him or her to tell about the missed event.

There are other creative approaches to show affection. One father who traveled frequently on business recorded audio messages for his children so they would hear his voice and know he loved them. Another father in graduate school deferred his evening studies until after his children were in bed so that he could spend time with them each day after dinner. Both examples sent strong messages of love to their children.

When a father prayerfully strives for an inspired and prudent balance among the competing priorities of work, church, home, personal time, and other commitments, the Lord will help him set boundaries on his time.

Faithful Fathers

With so many competing commitments and distractions today, fathers can ill afford to be emotionally distant or physically absent from their children. Fathers need to be wise and courageous enough to rearrange schedules and to say “I’m sorry,” and “I love you.” As fathers stop and listen, show appropriate affection, correct with patience and charity, and prioritize to spend one-on-one time with their children, they will be able to provide the warmth, nurture, and security that their children need.

Find Time for Your Children

“Some of our most important choices concern family activities. Many breadwinners worry that their occupations leave too little time for their families. There is no easy formula for that contest of priorities. However, I have never known of a man who looked back on his working life and said, ‘I just didn’t spend enough time with my job.’”

Elder Dallin H. Oaks of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, “Good, Better, Best,” Liahona and Ensign, Nov. 2007, 105.

I still remember my first cross-country skiing trip with my family. My parents, siblings, and I piled the ski equipment into our station wagon and traveled to a local mountain where we would spend the day. When we arrived at the site, I realized that in the hustle of packing I had left one of my skis at home. Worse yet, I’d forgotten my ski poles altogether.

Going home to retrieve the forgotten equipment was simply not feasible. My father, ever pragmatic, told me I’d just have to do my best. Fortunately, my older sister took pity on me and lent me one of her poles.

Having never been skiing, I didn’t think that having only one ski would be a big deal. I was more excited than disappointed—after all, I was finally old enough to participate in my family’s favorite shared activity!

One by one, my siblings put on their gear and headed toward a meadow with a small hill that was fun to ski down. But I couldn’t move an inch! The foot without a ski sank deep into the snow. The foot with the ski was also stuck because the snow clung to the old-fashioned wooden ski, making it extra heavy.

Why wasn’t this coming more easily? The harder I tried, the more stuck I became and the more frustrated I grew. My struggle became more devastating as I saw my father and brothers in the distance. They had reached the meadow and appeared to be having a great time climbing up and skiing down the hill.

Dad came back a few times to check on me, always offering some encouraging words. “Keep going! You’re getting it.” But I wasn’t getting it. In fact, the end of that day came before I ever made it to the meadow. My first ski trip was a huge disappointment.

As I have grown older, I have realized that all of us experience times when we feel that we’re trying to get by with one ski—an awkward wooden ski. We all deal with trials and disappointments and imperfections, some of our own making and some that come simply because we live in a fallen world. Some are temporary; some we deal with our entire lives.

We quickly discover how unprepared for the terrain we actually are. We feel inadequate. Our pain only escalates when we see others who seem to have no problems at all. In such situations it’s clear we cannot make it on our own.

Fortunately, our life experiences need not turn out like my first skiing experience did. I exerted my best effort yet made no progress. But in life we can make our best efforts and then turn everything else over to God. His strength and His grace enable us to do things we could not do if left to our own capacities.

I have also learned that we need not hide our struggles from our loving Heavenly Father. Our imperfections help us better understand how He feels about us and who we really are as His children. It is because He loves us that He sent His Son.

If we come unto Christ, our weaknesses will also give us a glimpse of the Savior’s grace and mercy as He works with us. For instance, there have been times when I have felt like saying, metaphorically, “Look, I have only one ski. And even if I did have two skis, I’m pretty sure I’d be a lousy skier. So don’t bother with me.”

But in His kindness, the Savior helps me anyway. He knows that I have challenges and asks only my best efforts: “It is by grace that we are saved, after all we can do” (2 Nephi 25:23). I believe Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ are pleased with my best efforts, however meager they are. And I know They love me in a way that allows me to trust and rely on Them more fully.

I didn’t give up skiing after that first disappointing experience. I went back repeatedly with my family and even took skiing classes in college. It’s now one of my favorite pastimes. I’m grateful I didn’t give it up.

I’m also grateful—eternally—that Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ don’t give up on us. God has not left us to our own flawed efforts. Because of His infinite love for His children, He sent a Savior to provide a way back to His presence. I know that by putting our faith in Them, all of us can move forward in our lives.

Would you like to share your experience about how Jesus Christ has touched your life? We welcome accounts of your gospel experiences relating to the Savior’s ministry and mission. Possible topics might include the Atonement, grace, healing, hope, or repentance. Please limit submissions to 500 words, label them “We Talk of Christ,” and send them to ensign@ldschurch.org.

Heavenly Father prepared a plan to help us become as He is and to receive a fulness of joy. He said, “This is my work and my glory—to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man” (Moses 1:39).

As spirit children of our Father in Heaven, we lived in His presence in our premortal life. This is called our first estate. We gathered together in a great Council in Heaven in which Heavenly Father presented His plan to us: We would come to earth, our second estate, and gain a physical body. We would also “prove” that “we [would] do all things whatsoever … God [would] command [us]” (Abraham 3:25). A Savior would atone for the sins of all mankind, making it possible for us to repent and become clean again. (See Alma 42:23–26.)

We chose to accept our Heavenly Father’s plan and Jesus Christ as our Savior. Because of the Savior’s Atonement and Resurrection, we can return to our Heavenly Father’s presence and live the kind of life He lives.

See Gospel Principles (2009), 13–16; Preach My Gospel (2004), 48–59; “Plan of Salvation,” in True to the Faith (2004), 115–16; and “Plan of Redemption,” in Guide to the Scriptures, at scriptures.lds.org.

• 1. We met in a great Council in Heaven with our Heavenly Father to hear His plan.

• 2. God’s plan required a Savior to atone for our earthly sins. God asked, “Whom shall I send?” (Abraham 3:27).

• 3. Jesus Christ, the Firstborn of our Heavenly Father’s children, knew we must be free to choose to obey God. Jesus said, “Here am I, send me” (Abraham 3:27). “Father, thy will be done, and the glory be thine forever” (Moses 4:2).

• 4. Lucifer, another of God’s children, did not believe that we should be free to choose to obey God. He said, “Here am I, send me. … I will redeem all mankind, that one soul shall not be lost … ; wherefore give me thine honor” (Moses 4:1).

• 5. Our Heavenly Father said, “I will send the first”—Jesus Christ (Abraham 3:27).

• 6. We “shouted for joy” (Job 38:7).

• 7. Because Jesus Christ was to be the Savior, Lucifer became angry and rebelled. A third part of the hosts of heaven followed him. (See D&C 29:36–37.)

• 8. We chose to accept God’s plan and follow Jesus Christ. We kept our first estate and progressed to our second estate, where we received a mortal body.

• 9. We receive the benefits of the Atonement of Jesus Christ by having faith in Him, repenting of our sins, being baptized by His priesthood authority, receiving the gift of the Holy Ghost, and keeping God’s commandments throughout our lives (see 2 Nephi 31:16–20; Articles of Faith 1:3–4).

To learn more about our basic beliefs, visit Mormon.org (available in many languages).

“Ye know that ye were not redeemed with corruptible things, as silver and gold, … but with the precious blood of Christ, as of a lamb without blemish and without spot: who verily was foreordained before the foundation of the world, but was manifest in these last times for you” (1 Peter 1:18–20).

Jesus Christ is central to God’s plan of happiness for us. “Behold, I am he who was prepared from the foundation of the world to redeem my people. Behold, I am Jesus Christ. … In me shall all mankind have life, and that eternally, even they who shall believe on my name; and they shall be my sons and my daughters” (Ether 3:14).

Managing Resources Wisely and Staying Out of Debt

Teach these scriptures and quotations or, if needed, another principle that will bless the sisters you visit. Bear testimony of the doctrine. Invite those you visit to share what they have felt and learned.

Managing Resources

“‘Provident living’ … implies the [conserving] of our resources, the wise planning of financial matters, full provision for personal health, and adequate preparation for education and career development, giving appropriate attention to home production and storage as well as the development of emotional resiliency. … If we live wisely and providently, we will be as safe as in the palm of His hand.”1

President Spencer W. Kimball (1895–1985).

“What skills do we need to help us become self-reliant? … In the early days of the Church, Brigham Young pled with the sisters to learn to prevent illness in families, establish home industries, and learn accounting and bookkeeping and other practical skills. Those principles still apply today. Education continues to be vitally important. …

“I asked several bishops what self-reliance skills the sisters in their wards needed most, and they said budgeting. Women need to understand the implications of buying on credit and not living within a budget. The second skill bishops listed was cooking. Meals prepared and eaten at home generally cost less, are healthier, and contribute to stronger family relationships.”2

Julie B. Beck, Relief Society general president.

Avoiding Debt

“May I suggest five key steps to financial freedom. …

“First, pay your tithing. …

“Second, spend less than you earn. …

“Third, learn to save. …

“Fourth, honor your financial obligations. …

“Fifth, teach your children to follow your example.”3

Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin (1917–2008) of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles.

“When we go into debt, we give away some of our precious, priceless agency and place ourselves in self-imposed servitude. We obligate our time, energy, and means to repay what we have borrowed—resources that could have been used to help ourselves, our families, and others. …

“To pay our debts now and to avoid future debt require us to exercise faith in the Savior—not just to do better but to be better. It takes great faith to utter those simple words, ‘We can’t afford it.’ It takes faith to trust that life will be better as we sacrifice our wants in order to meet our own and others’ needs.”4

Elder Robert D. Hales of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles.

Helps for Visiting Teachers

Counsel with your companion about how to sensitively adapt this message to each sister’s circumstances. What self-reliance skills can you share with her?

Personal Preparation

• Malachi 3:10

• Matthew 6:19–21

• Luke 12:15

• D&C 38:30; 88:119

See All Is Safely Gathered In: Family Finances (item no. 04007).

On Being Spiritually Prepared

A Foundation of Faith

“If we do not have a deep foundation of faith and a solid testimony of truth, we may have difficulty withstanding the harsh storms and icy winds of adversity which inevitably come to each of us.

“Mortality is a period of testing, a time to prove ourselves worthy to return to the presence of our Heavenly Father. In order for us to be tested, we must face challenges and difficulties. These can break us, and the surface of our souls may crack and crumble—that is, if our foundations of faith, our testimonies of truth are not deeply embedded within us.”1

Learn Lessons of the Past

“In the search for our best selves, several questions will guide our thinking: Am I what I want to be? Am I closer to the Savior today than I was yesterday? Will I be closer yet tomorrow? Do I have the courage to change for the better? …

“The years have come and the years have gone, but the need for a testimony of the gospel continues paramount. As we move toward the future, we must not neglect the lessons of the past.”2

Your Personal Liahona

“Your patriarchal blessing is yours and yours alone. It may be brief or lengthy, simple or profound. Length and language do not a patriarchal blessing make. It is the Spirit that conveys the true meaning. Your blessing is not to be folded neatly and tucked away. It is not to be framed or published. Rather, it is to be read. It is to be loved. It is to be followed. Your patriarchal blessing will see you through the darkest night. It will guide you through life’s dangers. … Your patriarchal blessing is to you a personal Liahona to chart your course and guide your way. …

“Patience may be required as we watch, wait, and work for a promised blessing to be fulfilled.”3

Come unto Him

“Remember that you do not walk alone. … As you walk through life, always walk toward the light, and the shadows of life will fall behind you. …

“As I [have] turned to the scriptures for inspiration, a particular word [has] stood out time and time again. The word [is] ‘come.’ The Lord said, ‘Come unto me.’ He said, ‘Come learn of me.’ He also said, ‘Come, follow me.’ I like that word, come. My plea is that we would come to the Lord.”4

Teaching from This Message

Teaching, No Greater Call states: “A skilled teacher doesn’t think, … ‘What will I teach today?’ but rather, ‘How will I help my students discover what they need to know?’” ([1999], 61). To help individuals learn from this article, consider providing them with paper and pencils and giving them time to read President Monson’s words and write down truths they discover about being spiritually prepared. Younger children could draw pictures about what they learn. Consider having them share what they have written or drawn.

Road to Emmaus, by Jon McNaughton

Photo illustration by Craig Dimond; illustrations by Steve Kropp

Youth

Your Patriarchal Blessing

 

“Your Patriarchal Blessing,” Ensign, Feb. 2010, 6

President Monson describes a patriarchal blessing as “a personal Liahona to chart your course and guide your way.” So what is this blessing, and how can it help guide your life?

What is a patriarchal blessing?

Your blessing has two main purposes. First, it will declare your lineage, or to which tribe in the house of Israel you belong. Second, it will contain information to help guide you. Your blessing will likely contain promises, admonitions, and warnings.

How old should I be to receive my blessing?

There is no set age, but you should be old enough to appreciate the sacred nature of the blessing. Many members start thinking about receiving their blessing in their early teenage years.

How do I receive the blessing?

First talk to your bishop or branch president. If you are ready and worthy, you will receive a recommend. After that, you can schedule an appointment with the patriarch in your area.

What do I do with my blessing?

Keep it in a safe place, and read it frequently. Remember, your blessing is sacred and personal. You may share it with immediate family members, but you should not share it publicly. Also, all blessings mentioned in your patriarchal blessing are based on your faithfulness and the Lord’s timing.

Children

A Solid Foundation

 

“A Solid Foundation,” Ensign, Feb. 2010, 6

President Thomas S. Monson said we need to build “a solid testimony of truth.” One of the best ways to do so is to read the scriptures. Look up the verse written on each stone below. Write in the blank what you learn about in that verse that helps your testimony grow stronger.

Mormon 7:5

Moroni 10:5

D&C 11:12

Articles of Faith 1:10

Ephesians 6:11

Moroni 7:41

D&C 1:37

Elder Bednar Meets with Members of Scottish Parliament

Elder David A. Bednar of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles met with ministers of the Scottish Parliament for two hours in September to discuss how Scottish members can support moral issues and to highlight Church teachings on the importance of the family. The meeting at the Holyrood Parliament Building in Edinburgh included five ministers of Parliament. Elder Bednar and other Church leaders also visited Ireland for several Church meetings.

African Saints Mobilize in Day of Service

Wearing yellow vests, members in more than 30 countries enjoyed the third All-Africa Service Project in August 2009. In Ivory Coast, Liberia, and Sierra Leone members repaired roads, fixed up old homes, and cleared drainage. In Kenya, South Africa, and Cameroon they scrubbed jail cells and restrooms, planted trees, fixed roads, and worked in orphanages. The Church partnered with service groups, other denominations, and government agencies in the effort.

Church Holds Auditions for Nauvoo Pageant

The Church needs professional-quality actors for 20 roles in the 2010 Nauvoo Pageant. Cast members must be experienced, faithful members of the Church, ages 20 to 60. Weekly rehearsals will be held in Salt Lake City in May and June. The show runs July 6 through 31. Auditions are January 15 and 16 in Provo and January 19 through 21 in North Salt Lake. Schedule an audition by calling 801-240-6492. See nauvoopageant.org for more information.

This year’s deadline for members to submit original music and theatrical works to be considered for publication or performance by the Church is March 31, 2010.

Selected music is presented in the Church Music Festival, and selected scripts and poetry are shared in the Cultural Arts Submission Presentation. Occasionally works are selected for future publication on the Church Web site or in the Church magazines.

Music submissions include songs, children’s songs, hymns, anthems, hymn arrangements, and instrumental and other works.

Cultural arts submissions may be theatrical scripts including dramas, comedies, and musicals. Poetry and oratorios with performance value have also been accepted.

The works submitted should be suitable for use in Church units, teach gospel principles in uplifting ways, be doctrinally correct, and accurate if historically based.

For more information, call 801-240-6492.

Music Submission

Guidelines can be found at www.lds.org/churchmusic. Click on Music, then Other Music, then Church Music Submissions.

Cultural Arts Submission

Cultural arts submissions should include:

• 1. Two copies of the script and any associated music on 8 1/2 x 11 inch (22 x 28 cm) paper.

• 2. A statement signed by all contributors that says, “The work submitted, entitled ‘__________,’ is my original work, is owned by me, and conforms to the submission rules.”

• 3. A cover letter with the piece’s title; author’s name, address, phone number, and e-mail address; central theme; synopsis; and cast requirements.

The names of all contributors should appear on the cover letter, script, and signed statement.

Send cultural arts submissions to:

Church Theatrical Script Cultural Arts Submission,

50 E. North Temple St. Rm. 2082

Salt Lake City, Utah, 84150-0020, USA.

The new temple recently announced for Fortaleza, Brazil, in the November edition of the magazine will be the seventh temple in Brazil, not the sixth. Along with the temple announced for Concepción, Chile, it brings the total number of temples in South America to 14.

The following new temple presidents and matrons join those previously announced in the December 2009 issue.

Temple	President and Matron
Cebu City Philippines	Gerald E. and Linda G. Mortimer
Oquirrh Mountain Utah	Alan S. and Leslie P. Layton
Palmyra New York	William H. and Kathy Sherwood
Papeete Tahiti	Michael F. and Maria T. Moody
Porto Alegre Brazil	Lennis M. and Peggy L. Knighton
Preston England	Albert and Aileen F. Roy
Recife Brazil	Frederick G. and Carol Y. Williams
Redlands California	Eldon H. and Flora H. Morgan
Regina Saskatchewan	Robert A. and Claudia R. Gehmlich
Sacramento California	William W. and Shanna N.Parmley
San José Costa Rica	Arthur L. and Elaine A. Porter
São Paulo Brazil	Stanley D. and Sheryl L. Neeleman
St. Louis Missouri	Grant Richard and Linda Oscarson
Stockholm Sweden	Paul K. and Bonnie L. Oscarson
Taipei Taiwan	Harvey G. and Sherry W. Horner
The Gila Valley Arizona	Keith and Kathleen M. Crockett
Tokyo Japan	Tohru and Sachiko T. Hotta
Vancouver British Columbia	Cordell B. and Marilyn J. Rolfson
Veracruz Mexico	David K. and Mayrene H. Bickmore
Villahermosa Mexico	Jorge and Bertha T. Méndez

Since the Church joined the Measles Initiative and Partnership in 2003, thousands of Church members have helped in the effort to eliminate the disease.

Approximately 56,000 Church members around the world have provided more than 600,000 hours of service in 32 countries in Africa, Asia, and Central and South America.

A group of humanitarian organizations—the American Red Cross, the United Nations Foundation, U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, UNICEF, and the World Health Organization—founded the Measles Initiative and Partnership in 2001 with the goal of reducing the number of deaths due to measles worldwide by 90 percent by the end of 2010.

As part of the Church’s commitment to the initiative, which included a US $3 million donation, the First Presidency invited Church members in affected countries, under the direction of local priesthood and Relief Society leaders, to participate in helping to organize and publicize the vaccination campaigns.

Church members hand out information sheets, hang street posters and banners, help at vaccination posts, and develop radio and TV spots. One young returned missionary composed a musical jingle for the campaign in Madagascar. This jingle has been translated and sung in 28 languages on dozens of radio stations in most countries where the campaign has taken place.

Cape Verde, a string of islands a few hundred miles off the coast of western Africa, is one of the many countries where Church members volunteered. In the March 2009 campaign, members helped make possible the vaccinations of more than 50,000 children. More than 600 members in Cape Verde volunteered 4,200 hours to promote the campaign door-to-door.

From the beginning of the initiative in 2001 to December 2008, 600 million children and youth have been vaccinated in the target countries, resulting in a 74 percent decrease in measles deaths around the world and an 89 percent decrease in Africa alone. Deaths due to measles decreased from 750,000 in 2000 to 197,000 in 2007, bringing the world much closer to the United Nations’ goal of fewer than 100,000 deaths worldwide by the end of 2010.

Church units worldwide will receive a DVD entitled A Brand New Year: 2010 Youth Celebration. The DVD introduces the 2010 Mutual theme and can be used to supplement youth classes, quorum meetings, Mutual, bishop’s youth discussions, and other activities throughout the year.

The 2010 Mutual theme is “Be strong and of good courage; be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed: for the Lord thy God is with thee whithersoever thou goest” (Joshua 1:9; emphasis added). The first segment of A Brand New Year: 2010 Youth Celebration features a special message from Elder M. Russell Ballard, a member of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, and a musical montage of youth throughout the world.

The DVD also contains nine additional segments, which include inspiring messages in the form of stories, testimonies, music, and special presentations from the Young Men and Young Women general presidencies. These segments focus on gospel standards from For the Strength of Youth, including education, family and friends, music and dancing, dating and virtue, health, service, and repentance.

Young people from all over the world share their thoughts and testimonies throughout the DVD.

“We are excited for the youth of the Church to be able to see each other on this DVD and be strengthened by each others’ testimonies,” said Elaine S. Dalton, Young Women general president. “Those who watch will see courageous youth everywhere choosing to live the standards [of the Church] and making a difference in the world. We hope priesthood and auxiliary leaders and teachers will use the DVD in their classes to teach standards and in activities to help youth commit to live and apply these standards in their lives.”

Church leaders have encouraged local priesthood and auxiliary leaders to review the DVD and use it in their meetings and activities. The first segment of the DVD can be used in New Year’s Eve activities or other special events where the theme is presented. The remaining segments are designed to be used throughout the year to expand upon the theme.

The segments are published with subtitles in Cantonese, English, French, German, Italian, Japanese, Korean, Mandarin, Portuguese, Russian, and Spanish. Material from the DVD is also available for download on the Internet.

Manuel Sarábia of Mexico shares his experiences on the DVD.

In April 2008, the newly called Young Women general presidency—Elaine S. Dalton, Mary N. Cook, and Ann M. Dibb—stood atop Ensign Peak on the northern edge of Salt Lake City and looked out over the valley.

From their vantage point the figure of the angel Moroni sparkled on the Salt Lake Temple, and they knew then what the Lord had in mind for the young women of the Church.

The three women held aloft a walking stick from which waved a gold Peruvian shawl—their banner and ensign to the nations, a call for a return to virtue.

“We cannot get caught up with this new value of virtue without saying the reason for the value is the temple,” Sister Dalton said. “And the temple is the reason for everything we are doing in Young Women, because it will help these young women to come unto Christ.”

Virtue was officially added to the Young Women values in November 2008. It is defined in the Personal Progress book as “a pattern of thought and behavior based on high moral standards. It includes chastity and purity” (Young Women Personal Progress [booklet, 2009], 70).

This value is unique in that all the experiences and the value project are required, where the other values allow young women to choose from several options. In addition, mothers have been invited to complete the Personal Progress program with their daughters and earn their own medallions.

A Value for All

In the last year, young women and others around the world have responded overwhelmingly to the call to return to virtue, flooding the Young Women office with letters and photographs from those who have answered the call. Many have climbed mountains and unfurled their own banners.

The project for the value of virtue is to follow the Savior’s admonition to learn of Him (see D&C 19:23) by reading the entire Book of Mormon and recording thoughts regularly in a journal.

The Book of Mormon teaches about societies that prospered and were happy when they were virtuous and pure but that fell when they were no longer virtuous, Sister Dibb said.

Men and women have been equally enthusiastic about the new value, the Young Women presidency said, citing examples of entire groups of young men and singles wards that have worked on the value together.

Sister Dibb emphasized that both men and women must focus on virtue to obtain the greatest blessings. “Men have no power or strength to exercise the priesthood that they receive if they are not morally pure,” she said. “And women receive that power and strength to fulfill their divine callings as wives, mothers, and as women as they practice virtue.”

Return to Virtue

Sister Dalton said she believes that now is the time to emphasize the value of virtue, a time when the world does everything but promote virtue.

“It’s interesting to us that in this world so many young women can lose sight of their identity as daughters of God,” Sister Cook said. “We’re just reminding them of that, and also of the fact that if you have made a mistake, you can repent.”

The commitment to remain virtuous and pure is possible because of the enabling and redeeming power of the Savior’s Atonement, Sister Dibb said. The fourth value experience focuses on repentance.

In the last year, many women—both old and young—have communicated a desire to return to being virtuous women. “[The addition of virtue] has created an excitement for women who have made wrong choices. Many have said, ‘I can be a virtuous woman again. … It is possible for me,’” Sister Cook said.

Many of those who desire to be virtuous again wonder where they can start. The Young Women presidency shares with them this formula: Pray night and morning. Read in the Book of Mormon five minutes or more each day. And smile.

“If all women in the Church and the world did this, think what the world would be like in five years,” Sister Dalton said. “We really do believe that virtuous young women led by the Spirit can change the world.”

Personal Progress Updated

The Young Women general presidency has updated Personal Progress materials to reflect recent changes.

The new Personal Progress booklet has a pink cover and includes the activities for the new eighth value—virtue—that was added at the end of 2008. Most of the value activities remain the same, but some have changed slightly to be more current and more focused on temple covenants.

The Young Womanhood Recognition medallion now depicts, in addition to the temple spires, a beehive that suggests harmony, cooperation, and work; the Mia Maid rose for love, faith, and purity; and the laurel wreath, which stands for honor and accomplishment. A small ruby in the center of the rose symbolizes the new value of virtue (see Proverbs 31:10) and the completion of Personal Progress.

Additional materials include a new theme poster and scripture ribbons. The ribbons will be given at the completion of value experiences and projects.

The materials are currently available in English, Spanish, and Portuguese. Content in 51 additional languages will become available throughout early 2010.

Young women and their leaders in the Santo Domingo Dominican Republic Independencia Stake ascended Cambita Garabito, a mountain in the Dominican Republic, where they raised their own banner to virtue in August 2009.

Photograph courtesy of Iván Heredia

The Young Womanhood Recognition medallion has a new design.

“By small and simple things are great things brought to pass” (Alma 37:6).

Suggestions for Better Teaching

• • Try to arrange the seating so you can see each class member and so everyone can see the chalkboard and other visual aids.

• • When trying to promote discussion, avoid yes-and-no questions. Instead of asking, “Did Nephi have faith?” ask, “How did Nephi show his faith?”

• • Be attentive when class members are answering questions or commenting so they know their thoughts and opinions are appreciated.

• • If your meetinghouse has a library, ask the librarian to show you what’s available to use with your lesson. Possibilities might include gospel art pictures, videos or DVDs, or resource books.

Photo illustration of teacher by Hyun-Gyu Lee

Church History around the World

Hong Kong

“Hong Kong,” Ensign, Jan. 2010, 71

China was dedicated for the preaching of the gospel on January 9, 1921, in Beijing by then Elder David O. McKay (1873–1970) of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles. However, missionary work was limited to the city of Hong Kong. In 1949 Elder Matthew Cowley (1897–1953) of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles opened the mission with a prayer from Victoria Peak—the highest point overlooking the city.

The Chinese translation of the Book of Mormon was finished in 1965, followed by the Doctrine and Covenants in 1974. The Hong Kong China Temple was the first temple in the world built as a multiuse structure. The building also contains a chapel, mission offices, and the temple president’s home.

When Hong Kong returned to Chinese control from British control in 1997, the Hong Kong Mission became the China Hong Kong Mission.

By the Numbers
Members in Hong Kong	22,939
Missions	1
Stakes	4
Districts	1
Wards and Branches	32
Temples	1

Elder Matthew Cowley, an Apostle, opened the Hong Kong Mission in 1949.

The Hong Kong China Temple.

Right: photograph of Hong Kong © Corbis; photograph of Matthew Cowley courtesy of Church History Library; photograph of Hong Kong China Temple by Craig Dimond; photograph of wood shavings by Welden C. Andersen

One Act of Kindness

By Arinzechukwu Okere

Arinzechukwu Okere, “One Act of Kindness,” Ensign, Jan. 2010, 72

One never knows what a little kindness can generate. One January, while serving in Akure in the Nigeria Lagos Mission, I had a small gift that I wanted to give to someone. I wondered, “Whom can I give it to that will benefit from it?” I took the gift to church two Sundays, yet I was undecided.

On the third Sunday, I went to church thinking I would give it to a good friend. He did not come to church that day, but I had a feeling that someone else needed it. Looking around the chapel, I saw a boy whose parents were not members of the Church. He seemed so lonely. I felt impressed to give him the gift. I presented it to him, feeling very happy within.

Something wonderful happened. His mother came to church the following Sunday. She thanked me for the gift. She said, “I have been promising my son that I would one day come to church. Today I came to express my gratitude for the gift.” That was how my companion and I met her; since then she has joined the Church. How happy the boy was to see his mom finally baptized.

I know that by small means great things are brought to pass.

Temple Spotlight

Cardston Alberta Temple

“Cardston Alberta Temple,” Ensign, Jan. 2010, 72

President Joseph F. Smith (1838–1918) dedicated the site for the temple at Cardston, Alberta, Canada, on July 27, 1913. It was the old tabernacle square, originally given to the Church by Charles Ora Card, who founded the settlement in 1887, when the immigrant Saints first arrived. Then Elder David O. McKay (1873–1970) of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles laid the cornerstone on September 19, 1915. President Heber J. Grant (1856–1945) dedicated the building on August 26, 1923.

The temple is built of off-white granite from quarries near Nelson, British Columbia. A veritable fortress of God in spiritual strength as well as physical appearance, the Cardston Alberta Temple has a commanding view of the Canadian prairie in all directions from Cardston.

As an Apostle, Elder David O. McKay laid the cornerstone of the Cardston Alberta Temple in 1915.

One of the temple’s striking features is a 33-foot-wide (10-m) sculpted panel on the east side. The sculpture depicts the Savior offering living water to the Samaritan woman at the well.

Left: photograph of Cardston Alberta Temple by Anita Satterfield; photograph of trowel by Jed Clark; photograph of President David O. McKay by Boyart Studio; photograph of temple panel by Eldon K. Linschoten

Great Lives Remembered

Nathan Eldon Tanner

“Nathan Eldon Tanner,” Ensign, Jan. 2010, 73

Though he was born in Salt Lake City, Utah, N. Eldon Tanner grew up in Canada, where his parents, Nathan William and Sarah Edna Brown Tanner, had helped settle the small town of Aetna, near Cardston, Alberta. Their first home was a one-room dugout cut from a hillside and reinforced with timber. The hard farm life on the prairies of western Canada developed a strong work ethic and sense of responsibility in Nathan.

When he was young, the rest of his family fell ill with smallpox. The neighbors were afraid to come in because of the disease, so young Nathan spent two nights and three days without sleep as he cared for the sick.

Despite heavy responsibilities on the farm, Nathan completed his schooling and became principal of a three-room school, where he fell in love with one of the teachers, Sara Isabelle Merrill. They married and became the parents of five daughters.

N. Eldon Tanner’s reputation for hard work and integrity led to many leadership responsibilities in government and business. He was speaker of the house in the Alberta legislature, a minister in the provincial cabinet, president of a petroleum company, and head of the company that built the 2,000-mile (3,220-km) Trans-Canada Pipeline.

But his family and the Church always came first. He was a devoted father who played an active role in rearing and nurturing his daughters from the time they were infants. When he became counselor to a bishop in Cardston and adviser to the deacons quorum, Brother Tanner found that some of the boys were not attending because their families could not afford Sunday clothes, and the boys were embarrassed to wear their overalls. He made an agreement with the boys, and when they showed up at priesthood meeting the next Sunday wearing overalls, there was Brother Tanner, also wearing overalls. He won the hearts of those boys, and soon they were all active.

N. Eldon Tanner became bishop of the Cardston Ward, later served as a stake high councilor, and then became president of the newly formed Calgary Alberta Stake. It was while he was serving as stake president that the call came to serve as a General Authority and Assistant to the Quorum of the Twelve in October 1960.

When N. Eldon Tanner passed away, President Ezra Taft Benson (1899–1994) of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles said of him: “Nathan Eldon Tanner was one of the great and noble men of our time. He was recognized as a giant among men. In the annals of Church history he will be remembered as one of the influential counselors in the First Presidency of the Church.”1

Important Dates in the Life of President N. Eldon Tanner

• • Born on May 9, 1898, in Salt Lake City, Utah.

• • Sustained as Assistant to the Twelve on October 8, 1960.

• • Ordained an Apostle on October 11, 1962.

• • Sustained as Second Counselor to President David O. McKay on October 4, 1963. Served as Second Counselor to President Joseph Fielding Smith and as First Counselor to President Harold B. Lee and to President Spencer W. Kimball.

• • Died on November 27, 1982, in Salt Lake City, Utah.

Family Home Evening Journal Sharing

Stephanie Nixon, Florida, USA

Stephanie Nixon, “Family Home Evening Journal Sharing,” Ensign, Jan. 2010, 70

Does your journal sit unused in a drawer? We are a journal-writing family, and it seemed a shame not to use them in a productive way. So every Monday evening, one of our goals is to read from a family member’s journal. When each of our five children was born, we started baby journals, recording our thoughts and aspirations for them. When they were old enough to participate, they kept their own journals. With everyone’s contributions over the years, we have a lot of journal entries to choose from. Each week we share excerpts from a different family member’s journal. Sometimes we share recent entries; others are from years past. We are always careful to not share sensitive information. Each family member may choose what to share.

If your family hasn’t kept journals, you might see if other relatives, such as grandparents, will let you read selections from theirs. Hopefully you can encourage your family to begin keeping journals. Our children enjoy hearing about the funny things they said when they were younger and the lessons they have learned along the way. Writing in our journals is a much anticipated activity in our family. We know we’re not just writing for our future posterity. We are recording our thoughts and life experiences to benefit our family now.

Illustration by Beth Marion Whittaker

Helps for Home Evening

“Helps for Home Evening,” Ensign, Jan. 2010, 70

“The Courage to Comfort,”  p. 52: “Stories can awaken learners’ interest. We can often teach a principle more effectively when we first share a story to illustrate it. This helps learners understand the principle in terms of everyday experiences” (Teaching, No Greater Call, [1999] 93). Consider sharing a personal story when you were able to offer comfort or when someone offered comfort to you.

“With a Life Hanging in the Balance,”  p. 60: After reading this article together, family members could share experiences when they have been blessed by following the promptings of the Spirit.

“Making Mountains,”  p. 46: This article compares overcoming challenges with climbing a mountain. You might be able to create an activity, such as climbing a hill or some stairs, that would help family members remember and apply the principle.

“I Will Be Found of You,”  p. 80: A fun activity could be to play hide-and-seek as a family, and then relate the game to the promise found in Jeremiah 29:13: “And ye shall seek me, and find me, when ye shall search for me with all your heart.”

Healing My Homesickness

Sue Hirase, Utah, USA

Sue Hirase, “Healing My Homesickness,” Ensign, Jan. 2010, 66

I began college at age 18. After a short time, however, I transferred to another university and changed my major. My new university was only a couple of hours from my home, but I found myself terribly homesick and discouraged, wanting to give up and return to my family. Yet I knew if I did, I would be abandoning my chance to earn a degree.

One weekend not long after the school year began, all of my roommates went home for a visit. I knew that if I went home too, I would not return. I couldn’t even call and speak to my family for fear I would break down and not be able to focus on my studies. I had been praying for the strength to overcome my homesickness, but now I was praying to know whether I should even remain at school and complete a degree.

Early that Sunday morning as I walked slowly across the quiet campus on my way to church, I wondered how I could stay at school when I missed my home and family so deeply and couldn’t overcome my loneliness. But what would I do if I left school?

When I arrived at church, the previous ward had just left the chapel. I entered, hoping for a moment to pray for direction. As I found a place to sit and slowly moved onto the wooden pew, I noticed a printed program from the previous sacrament meeting. There on the front of the folded paper were the following words: “Perhaps the most valuable result of all education is the ability to make yourself do the thing you have to do, when it ought to be done, whether you like it or not.”1

At that moment I knew what I needed to do. The Lord had answered my prayers in such a simple way, but I could not deny that it was an answer just the same.

It wasn’t long after that Sunday that my loneliness and discouragement left. As a result, I enjoyed my remaining years in school. I gained a degree, lifelong friends, and a stronger testimony by following the promptings of the Spirit.

Now, more than 25 years later, I still recall that answer to my prayer, and I use those same words from that sacrament meeting program to commit myself to difficult tasks. I have shared my experience with close friends and family in hopes that they too might gain strength in difficult times.

I know the Lord cares about our feelings and everyday choices, and I know He answers our sincere prayers.

Could I Close My Business on Sunday?

Gerardo Adrián García Romero, Veracruz, Mexico

Gerardo Adrián García Romero, “Could I Close My Business on Sunday?,” Ensign, Jan. 2010, 67

Three weeks after I opened my heart, received the gospel, and made the important decision to be baptized in 2001, I attended a Sunday School class in which we discussed the importance of observing the Sabbath day.

As a successful business owner with a large number of employees, I had been working on Sundays for more than 20 years. But as the importance of this day became clear to me, I decided to tell my three store managers that we were not going to open anymore on Sunday.

A few weeks after I announced my decision, my three managers told me that several insistent customers, mainly schoolteachers, asked whether we might open our stores the following Sunday. I work in the candy business in Papantla, and people needed to buy candy and piñatas to prepare for El Día del Niño (Children’s Day), which would be observed the following Monday. On Children’s Day, held on April 30 in Mexico, schools have parties and games, and children receive candy

“Tomorrow, on Saturday, I’ll let you know,” I told my managers.

When I got home, I told my wife what had happened. I expected her to say, “Stay open. After all, it’s just one Sunday.” But that was not her answer.

With a firm voice, she told me that I was the head of the family and that it was my decision. But then she asked me, “If someone told you that this Sunday you could receive either a huge fortune or you could receive your Father in Heaven, which would you choose?”

Her question helped me realize the importance of receiving the Lord every Sunday, and I knew I had to stand by my decision. Honoring the Lord is the most important thing we can do on Sunday, and since then I have not missed an opportunity to do so.

If we put the things of the Lord before the things of man, we will be given a testimony of the Sabbath day. For our observance of the Sabbath day, my family and I have been greatly blessed, as has my business. May we all receive the blessings of honoring the Lord’s day.

How Could We Pay Our Rent?

Douglas Arévalo, Costa Rica

Douglas Arévalo, “How Could We Pay Our Rent?,” Ensign, Jan. 2010, 68

A year and a half after my wife, Rebeca, and I married, the company I worked for closed. Suddenly I found myself unemployed.

Rather than look to be hired by someone else, I felt prompted to start my own company. I knew that this challenge could be a complicated one, so I turned to Heavenly Father to confirm what I had felt. Prayer played a vital role in that initial decision and has continued to be crucial since.

In August 2003 I started my own company doing painting, gardening, landscaping, and maintenance work. Things aren’t always easy when you have your own company, especially when starting out. At the beginning of one month, Rebeca and I needed to pay rent for our home. We didn’t have a penny. So one morning we prayed that we might somehow obtain the money we needed. Later that day I was hired for a job that paid enough to cover our rent.

A month after I started my company, the stake president asked me to meet with him. Soon I was called to be the bishop of our ward. I realized that Heavenly Father had opened a way for me to accept and fulfill this calling. With my other job, I would not have had the necessary time for members of the ward and for my own family. But because I have my own company, I have a flexible schedule. I have been home for important events in my family’s life, such as when my children were born and started walking and talking. In addition, my wife and I have been able to serve in the San José Costa Rica Temple. These opportunities, which came because we had responded to promptings and sought direction in prayer, have tied us together.

I recently resumed my university studies. When the impression came to return to school, I worried about how I could provide for my family. Two days a week I would be in the classroom, not at work. How was my family going to make it?

Again, my wife and I made this challenge a matter of prayer, and the Lord responded. I began receiving permanent contracts, which have made it easier for me to make up workdays I miss while at school.

In all of these experiences, we have seen the Lord keep His promise: “Ask, and ye shall receive” (3 Nephi 27:29). Prayer has been important to our family’s development and improvement. We have seen and felt that when we turn to the Lord, He blesses us. We know that He knows us by name, and we can ask Him for whatever we need.

I Didn’t Have a Temple Recommend

Anne-Mette Howland, Utah, USA

Anne-Mette Howland, “I Didn’t Have a Temple Recommend,” Ensign, Jan. 2010, 69

When I was 17 years old, I had a strong desire to see a Latter-day Saint temple. I lived in Denmark with my family, where at that time there was no temple. For Saints living in Denmark, the closest temples were in Switzerland and England. I didn’t know anyone in those nations, so traveling to either country by myself was out of the question.

But because I had family in Utah, I decided to save money so I could visit and do baptisms for the dead in the Salt Lake Temple. I wrote my aunt and cousins in Utah to see if it was all right if I came for a visit. They were excited to hear of my plans.

A year later I had finally saved enough money for my long-awaited trip. A few days after I arrived in Utah, my aunt drove me to the Salt Lake Temple. I was thrilled to see it in person and excited to do baptisms for the dead. When I got to the entrance, however, a temple worker asked to see my temple recommend. No one had ever told me about a temple recommend! The worker kindly explained what a temple recommend is and told me that I could get one from my bishop.

My heart sank. I would have to be content with visiting relatives and seeing the temple from the outside.

During fast and testimony meeting the following Sunday, I felt the need to share my testimony, telling the congregation how blessed they were to live so close to a temple. I also said I would have loved to have gone inside but couldn’t because I didn’t have a recommend, though I had always been taught to live worthily. I closed my testimony by encouraging the members to attend the temple as often as they could.

After church, my relatives’ bishop approached me and said he would try to help me get a temple recommend, and we set up an interview. During the interview, he asked me if my bishop spoke English. I said no. He replied, “And I don’t speak Danish.” My heart sank again.

But the bishop said, “You have come this far; let’s not give up just yet. I know the Lord will help us. We just have to have faith.”

He then asked for my bishop’s phone number in Denmark, which I happened to have with me. I was surprised to hear my bishop’s son answer the phone. He told me he had just returned from his mission to England. When I told the American bishop, he said, “Perfect. He can translate for us.”

Soon all four of us were on the phone—my bishop giving me a recommend interview, his son translating for the American bishop. Before long I had my recommend and was finally able to enter the temple! I cannot put into words the joy I felt knowing that the Lord had opened the way for me.

I was later married in the temple and have been blessed with four beautiful children. I am so thankful Heavenly Father has given us temples, and I’m grateful to know that I am sealed to my family and that, if we live righteously, we can be together forever.

How some young adults are applying principles of preparedness to their busy, mobile lives.

Jocelyn is from Texas, Abby from Idaho, Marcia from Virginia, and Emily from Utah. They come from different backgrounds and have different career plans. But what they share, in addition to a home in northern Virginia, is the need to apply principles of provident living to their busy young-adult lives.

Jocelyn Winter attends medical school. Much of her time and energy go into balancing schoolwork with meeting financial obligations. Marcia Brisson is finished with school for now and is working full-time. Abby Croshaw is also working full-time but is considering a career change. And Emily Hardman is planning to move across the country to go to law school. All are finding that by applying the principles found in All Is Safely Gathered In: Family Home Storage (Item# 04008000) and Family Finances (Item# 04007000) they are better able to adjust to the shifting demands of young-adult life. Not only do they feel better prepared for new stages of life, including marriage or career changes, they also feel more secure about the future, no matter what it brings. As the Lord said: “If ye are prepared, ye shall not fear” (D&C 38:30).

Furthermore, as these women apply the principles of provident living to meet their current needs, they find greater peace and have more faith as they seek emotional, spiritual, and temporal blessings.

Keeping It Simple

With school, family, employment, Church, and social commitments, Emily needs to simplify wherever possible, and that includes her home storage program. She was surprised to find that working to obtain personal home storage items did not require extensive efforts. “I don’t have a lot of time to spend at a Church cannery or anything like that, but I can buy an extra can of pasta or something when I shop,” she says. Emily selects items that store well and that she would normally eat. This avoids potential waste and helps her avoid going over her budget.

Provident living is more than food storage. It also includes avoiding extravagance and unnecessary expenses. Marcia works in a metropolitan area where eating at nearby restaurants is a popular but costly convenience. “I try to make an effort to bring my lunch. Eating out is expensive, and you lose a lot of money by doing it,” she says. Keeping track of where her money goes helps Marcia set money aside not only for general savings but also for potential future expenses, including unplanned ones such as car repairs.

The Blessings of Obedience

For Marcia, obedience to prophetic counsel on personal preparedness is important, even though it would be easier to rely on nearby family. “I obey just because we’re asked to, and it’s not really more complicated than that,” she says. Doing so has helped Marcia become independent.

“It’s not just about buying extra food,” adds Emily. “Being prepared and self-sufficient teaches you that it’s your own responsibility to provide while establishing yourself.” Emily says Elder Quentin L. Cook’s counsel to live in faith instead of fear1 has inspired her to move forward with her goal to remain self-reliant while she attends law school. Emily knows that if she follows the commandments, the Lord will help her.

Abby, too, knows the blessings that come from obedience. She recalls that when a series of bad rainstorms hit her city, she was grateful she had followed the counsel of the prophets to build up a short-term home storage supply. During the inclement weather, she was safe in her home while others in the community were rushing on crowded roads to the grocery store for supplies. “Even if you made it to the store, the shelves were completely empty,” she says. “My roommates and I didn’t even feel the stress because we had food stored at our house. I was grateful we had listened.”

Obtaining the Blessings

President Thomas S. Monson has taught, “Our journey into the future will not be a smooth highway stretching from here to eternity. Rather, there will be forks and turnings in the road, to say nothing of the unanticipated bumps. …

“Prepare for the future.”2

Jocelyn says, “It really gives me a sense of security to know that the teachings in the Church focus on things to help us succeed, especially in times of trial.” Years ago, Jocelyn’s stake in Texas temporarily housed members displaced by a hurricane. Her personal resources proved valuable. Even though she didn’t use them for herself, someone else needed them. “I gave away what I had to others. Just helping one person can make a difference if everyone pitches in,” she says.

The All Is Safely Gathered In pamphlet points out that not everyone will have financial resources or space for storage in a traditional sense, and some are prohibited by law from storing large amounts of food. In these circumstances, the First Presidency encourages members to store as much as their circumstances allow.

Emily has found that doing as much as her circumstances allow has reduced stress and increased confidence. Even though she feels financial pressure when she thinks about moving across the United States to attend law school (first-year law students are not allowed to have jobs), she feels at peace. “I know I can pray and ask in confidence for God’s help because I’ve done what I was asked to do,” she says. Perhaps that reserve—the security that comes from obedience—is the best kind of all.

Why Provident Living Works for Me

I took a job in a new city and began to build a small reserve of food and household necessities, as well as a savings account. Later, I broke my foot and became helpless for nearly two months. Help from good friends and having that small reserve in place allowed for far fewer trips to the grocery store. Although this was not the type of disaster I was anticipating, I was grateful for the counsel to be prepared.”

Shannon Wilson, Texas, USA

Right now I don’t need a lot to live on, but I do keep enough savings to help me in an emergency. For me, it’s about having faith. I know that I lived my life in a way that prepared me to deal with the challenges of serving a mission. Now, I feel the way that I am living is a reflection of the foundation I built as a missionary. I learned then and know now that as long as I am preparing myself by developing a relationship with Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ, I will be ready for the future.”

Jaron Malyon, Washington, USA

I grew up in a home where we used food storage on a regular basis. Living out of home, I never felt entirely comfortable or secure until I had some kind of food storage of my own. It had meager beginnings; whenever packets of pasta came on special, I purchased a few extra ones. Now I store entire boxes of food. I keep them in my closet, where they are protected from heat or weather elements, but they are still easily accessible so that I can rotate the stock regularly.

“Thankfully, there hasn’t been any major disaster or need for me to rely solely upon my food storage or other supplies, but I consider it a blessing to have the security of knowing I could live on my storage if needed. It is also a blessing to be able to partially rely on it when I don’t have as much income at a particular time due to extra expenses or fewer hours at work. I know that implementing provident living principles in our lives is a commandment from the Lord that helps us be more fruitful and independent.”

Jaci Smibert, Australia

My parents encouraged me to work for extra money by mowing lawns and babysitting, and they helped prepare me to be wise with money and live providently. A blessing I’ve received from these experiences is that I am resourceful and I don’t stress over the future. As an adult, I am better able to decide between what I want and what I need, which has helped me to be practical in other areas, like home storage.”

Joshua Keene, Virginia, USA

Marcia finds great comfort in following the Prophet’s counsel.

Jocelyn was able to help others during a crisis.

Emily includes foods that store well when she shops.

Abby was grateful for her storage when severe storms struck.

While neighbors and other people in her community were emptying store shelves of emergency supplies during the initial stages of a violent storm, Abby was safe in her home knowing she was prepared for the worst and able to help others.

The construction worker lay where he had fallen, precariously balanced on a plank nine inches (23 cm) wide and 100 feet (30 m) in the air. He had been struck by a falling steel beam that had partially severed his left arm and leg.

As a paramedic attached to the Yorkshire Air Ambulance, covering most of the north of England, I never know what the next emergency call will bring or what kind of situation we will face when we get to the scene.

In this case, the victim could not be moved safely until his injuries were assessed. I was hoisted up by crane on a metal cargo platform. Once I reached the victim, a construction worker held onto the back of my reflective jacket, serving as a human “crane” to allow me freedom of movement to examine the victim.

In situations like this, years of training take over, so I began to assess the man’s injuries. On his knee was an emergency field dressing placed there by the construction crew’s own first aid responder. Normally I would examine the injury to assess the damage since that is the protocol we are trained to follow.

But as I reached out, the Spirit prompted me: “Do not move the dressing.” So I did not touch it. Three more times during the incident, I was encouraged by others involved—the first responder, my colleague on the ground, and a doctor—to examine the knee wound, and three more times, the Spirit prompted me not to touch the dressing. Once we had stabilized the patient, we lifted the man onto the cargo platform, we were both lowered to the ground, and we transported him to the hospital.

In the emergency resuscitation area, the trauma team waited for us. One doctor quickly removed the field dressing from the knee. Immediately an artery ruptured, and the patient began bleeding profusely. In the controlled environment of the hospital, this life-threatening situation was quickly resolved. If it had happened on the plank 100 feet up, the victim may well not have survived.

Every morning I pray and ask Heavenly Father to help me, to bless me with the inspiration to know how to best help my brothers and sisters who will be in need today. Over the years, experience has taught me that whatever the Spirit prompts me to do, be obedient. That obedience has protected me as well.

For example, one of my responsibilities is to act as navigator, guiding the helicopter pilot to the incident scene. Emergency helicopters can and do fly most anywhere, which makes them invaluable for reaching accident scenes quickly but it also makes them vulnerable. When we are flying at more than 140 miles (225 km) per hour, power cables and telephone wires can be practically invisible. And they can slice through a helicopter in an instant.

On one trip we were coming in to land in a most awkward place. Suddenly the Spirit told me, “Put the clipboard down!” Again almost immediately, I felt, “Put it down!” So I leaned forward to place my clipboard on the case by my knees. As I did so, my point of view altered, and I saw the power cable right below us. “Wires! Wires! Wires below!” was all I could say. And even though we actually touched the cable and caused it to bow, the pilot responded instantly, and we lifted away and were saved. That was the closest to disaster I have come. Without the Spirit’s prompting, that emergency call would have had a very different ending.

I am so grateful for the loving way Heavenly Father is aware of all our needs. The Lord is always watching over us. He wants us all to remain spiritually safe and to return home to Him, so He often speaks to us by the still, small voice of the Spirit. All we have to do is listen and obey.

Without the Spirit’s prompting, that emergency call would have had a very different ending.

The Lord expects us to inquire, study, and act even when we lack perfect knowledge.

After Nephi and his brothers had repeatedly failed to get the brass plates from Laban, Nephi set out to make a final attempt, “not knowing beforehand the things which [he] should do” (1 Nephi 4:6).

Many prophets throughout the ages have faced a similar challenge of having to act in faith. Adam was commanded to offer sacrifices without knowing why (see Moses 5:5–6). Abraham left his homeland to travel to a new land of inheritance without knowing where it was (see Hebrews 11:8; Abraham 2:3, 6). Paul journeyed to Jerusalem without knowing what would happen to him once he arrived (see Acts 20:22). Joseph Smith knelt in a grove of trees without knowing which church he should join (see Joseph Smith—History 1:19).

We also may find ourselves in situations that require us to take action without knowing what to do. Thankfully, the experiences above teach us ways to move forward despite uncertainty.

Nephi encouraged his brethren to be faithful in keeping the commandments of the Lord (see 1 Nephi 4:1). Then he acted on that faith. He “crept into the city and went forth towards the house of Laban,” being “led by the Spirit” (1 Nephi 4:5–17). The Spirit told him not only what to do but also why it was so important that he do it (see 1 Nephi 4:12–14).

Adam responded by being “obedient unto the commandments of the Lord” (Moses 5:5). Abraham acted in faith and, as a result, “sojourned in the land of promise” (Hebrews 11:9). Paul chose not to fear “bonds and afflictions” but to finish the ministry he had “received of the Lord Jesus” (Acts 20:23–24). Joseph Smith pondered the scriptures and determined to follow the invitation to “ask of God” (Joseph Smith—History 1:13).

Our Responsibility to Act

The scriptures warn us that not knowing is not an excuse for not doing. Nephi “desired to know the things that [his] father had seen,” pondered them in his heart, and “was caught away in the Spirit of the Lord” (1 Nephi 11:1). Laman and Lemuel, meanwhile, spent their time “disputing one with another concerning the things which [Lehi] had spoken unto them” (1 Nephi 15:2).

The Lord expects us to inquire, study, and act—even though there are some things we may never know in this life. One of those things is the hour of His Second Coming. He said, “Watch therefore: for ye know not what hour your Lord doth come” (Matthew 24:42). Because of this uncertainty, President Wilford Woodruff (1807–98) counseled members of the Church to prepare, but he affirmed that he would continue to plant cherry trees.1

“When you are living worthily and your choice is consistent with the Savior’s teachings and you need to act, proceed with trust,” said Elder Richard G. Scott of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles. If we are sensitive to the promptings of the Spirit, Elder Scott added, “either the stupor of thought will come, indicating an improper choice, or the peace or the burning in the bosom will be felt, confirming that your choice was correct [see D&C 9:8–9]. When you are living righteously and are acting with trust, God will not let you proceed too far without a warning impression if you have made the wrong decision.”2

Prove the Lord

Two experiences from my life—when I wasn’t sure what to do—illustrate the importance of obeying the commandments and following the living prophets. In college I ran out of money, so I found a part-time job. When I received my first check, I did not know whether it would be enough to get me through to the next paycheck. But I remembered the Lord’s promise regarding tithing: “Prove me now herewith … if I will not open you the windows of heaven, and pour you out a blessing” (Malachi 3:10).

I decided to prove the Lord. I paid my tithing first, and He blessed me to survive. In the process I learned to trust in His promises.

Years later, when Sister Ellis and I had young children and I was starting a new career, my employer changed medical insurance plans. The old plan would end on June 1 and the new one would start on July 1, leaving us without insurance for one month. We did not know what to do, but at that point we remembered a talk by President N. Eldon Tanner (1898–1982) in which he counseled Church members to always have health insurance.3

I talked with the company, and we negotiated a contract to ensure continuous insurance coverage throughout June. On June 28 our oldest son, Matt, fell off the high diving board at the neighborhood pool and hit the concrete deck. He suffered a fractured skull and a brain concussion. He was rushed by helicopter to the hospital, where he was treated by specialists. The costs were astronomical and would have ruined us financially. Fortunately, health insurance paid for most of his treatment.

What Should We Do?

So what should we do when we don’t know what to do? We need look no further than the prophets, the scriptures, and the Savior for an answer. These valuable sources teach us to:

• 1. Seek answers through study and prayer.

• 2. Obey the commandments.

• 3. Trust in the Lord and in His promises.

• 4. Follow the prophet.

• 5. Go forward in faith, not fear.

• 6. Complete our mission.

And in each of these steps, may we follow the counsel of President Boyd K. Packer, President of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles: “Always, always follow the promptings of the Spirit.”4

Many widows and widowers wonder if they will ever feel alive again after the death of their beloved companions. But surviving spouses from around the world bear witness that there is life after the death of a loved one and that a loving Father in Heaven will help provide the way to move forward.

Forward with Faith

One difficulty widows and widowers face after the death of a spouse is the challenge of moving on with their temporal lives. Some find it hard to make important decisions alone or to assume responsibilities formerly shouldered by a spouse. In addition, the financial situation of a widow or widower may be dire, especially if the spouse accrued medical bills as the result of a long illness, or if the widow or widower is left with no means to support the family.

Helen Thompson, a 64-year-old widow from Australia, was facing many of these temporal challenges after her husband passed away. Three of her seven children still lived at home, and to add to the complications, one of Sister Thompson’s older daughters had also become a widow at the same time.

“I was facing some major financial difficulties,” she remembers. “It was a very tight situation.”

But Sister Thompson found that the answer to her temporal problems came from living gospel principles and relying on the Lord.

One of the greatest blessings came from paying tithing. “I’ve always paid my tithing,” she says. “I felt I couldn’t afford not to.”

Sister Thompson trusted in the principle of tithing, and the Lord showed her how to find the answers she so desperately sought. “I was reading in the Book of Mormon,” she recalls, “where the brother of Jared was asked to build some boats (see Ether 2). As I was reading, I noticed the steps the brother of Jared took when he was facing a serious problem. I thought since my problems were serious too, that I could follow his example.”

Sister Thompson did some research, gathered ideas, and presented them to the Lord. She received guidance as a result of her prayer.

“I followed the same steps as the brother of Jared,” she said. “The plan allowed me to catch up on my house payments and other obligations.”

Forward with Comfort

Like Sister Thompson, others have found peace in the principles of the gospel as they have pondered the Atonement and sought the companionship of the Holy Ghost in their daily lives. In England, 33-year-old Andrea Fahey’s husband died suddenly following surgery. Sister Fahey felt an overwhelming sadness and wondered how she could raise her three young children alone. She found that daily prayer and scripture study brought the Holy Ghost, which gave her comfort and the strength to move forward.

She says, “When I pray for the Holy Ghost to be with me, I am more calm and controlled. I am able to think about the different path that my life is now to follow.”

LaRae S. Blake of Texas, a mother of eight, also relies upon the Holy Ghost. After she lost her husband to cancer, she found peace in contemplating the blessings of the Atonement.

“I had such an increased appreciation of the Atonement of the Savior,” she says, “My faith in His love for me and my family, and my knowledge that He understands the heartache I was going through, helped me to see things with an eternal perspective. I knew my Heavenly Father had given me the gift of the Holy Ghost, who has the role, among others, of a comforter.”

Forward with Help

Sister Blake also attests that the service she received from people who desired to reach out was instrumental in helping her move forward.

She remembers, “I had so many people reach out to me in love and kindness. The Relief Society and Young Women came and cleaned my house. A friend helped me figure out the medical bills, the insurance, and the paperwork that had to be done to change the accounts over to my name. People brought over food and paper goods and called me on special occasions that were hard to get through, such as the first Christmas after his death.”

Sister Blake says she especially appreciated her home and visiting teachers. “I had an excellent home teacher who helped me learn how to care for the house. He taught me how to light a water heater and fix an old door. He also gave my children blessings at the beginning of the school year.

“My visiting teacher helped me to learn to use the computer, which had always been my husband’s job.”

Jason Morris, a 29-year-old widower from Nevada, says he appreciated those who simply came over and served without asking permission. When his wife, who suffered from leukemia, passed away just five months after giving birth to their daughter, Brother Morris felt like he was in a fog for weeks. He says people who offered specific acts of service were the most helpful.

“I have been served in ways I would never have contemplated. People have cooked and cleaned. A family in my student ward asked their family to give them money instead of presents for Christmas and then gave the money to us. This same family watched my daughter for free while I completed my last year of law school. They even threw a surprise birthday party for me and have included us in many activities.”

Widows and widowers say inclusion in family activities is important. Many face crushing loneliness they find hard to bear, and some feel ostracized when old friends who are couples no longer feel comfortable associating with them. Much appreciated are the families who reach out and continually invite them places and include them in their family gatherings, even long after the painful loss.

Also pressing is the need to talk about what happened, even if it results in tears. After a three-year battle with cancer took her husband, Diana Redfern of England was devastated and frightened at the prospect of being alone. She relates how people in her ward helped her adjust to her new situation.

“At the time of Bob’s death, people were very kind to me. They reached out. I was listened to, and that is what I needed. What was not helpful was when people avoided talking about my husband because they thought it would upset me. I wanted to talk about him. It helped ease the loss over time.”

Forward with Hope

Another thing that helps, says Debbie Ryals, a 55-year-old widow from South Carolina, is the strength and peace that come from serving in the house of the Lord. She finds comfort in the doctrine of eternal families made possible through the ordinances of the temple. She lost her husband suddenly and unexpectedly when he was taken by a rare blood disorder. At the time, she was not a member of the Church, but she says that in spite of being taught otherwise, she always knew that families were eternal. That is why when the missionaries knocked on her door soon after her husband’s death and taught her about eternal families, she believed them. She was baptized within six months. Since then, the doctrine of eternal marriage has given her hope and helped her to get through the lonely days and nights when she misses her beloved companion.

“I love the temple,” she says, “I find it very peaceful, and I come away with a sense of renewal. It’s like I’ve been rededicated, and I can face the world once more.”

Sue Fullmer agrees. Sister Fullmer, of Utah, lost her husband to a sudden, unexplained illness. She says, “When you are a single parent, you have that burden to shoulder all alone, day and night. But all that weight is lifted away from you when you walk through the doors of the temple. The temple is a place where I can feel my husband near to me. It is another witness that this life is part of eternity.”

Forward with Joy

Most widows and widowers say that despite feelings of despair and loneliness, it is possible to have joy again. Trisha Grant-Call, a 38-year-old widow from Utah, says widows and widowers need to allow themselves to have joy.

“It takes awhile to find happiness after a loss,” she says, “but I like to try to realize what I do have. I still find joy through my children. I still have an amazing part of my husband in my girls and me. I still find joy in being around my horses and animals. Striving to live the life that Heavenly Father wants for me gives me happiness.”

Many widows and widowers say that they find happiness in keeping busy, focusing on family, improving themselves, magnifying callings, and becoming involved in things they care about. But all of them testify that much of their happiness comes from serving others. Kevin Campbell, a 50-year-old widower from Washington, lost his wife after her three-year battle with cancer. He says he found healing as he attended the single-adult ward and reached out to those who were in as much need of comfort as he was.

He recalls, “The Lord put many in my path to serve, touch, and care for. It healed me, and at the same time it gave me much strength. I reached out to many in my local singles ward and made my house a meeting place where all were welcome. I learned that so many single members are hurting in so many ways, and all it takes is for someone to care, reach out, and serve.”

Forward with the Love of God

Whether it be through service, personal revelation, the comfort of the Holy Ghost, or earthly angels sent to ease their burdens, these widows and widowers bear testimony that the blessings and miracles in their time of grief have been rich and abundant. Through their struggle and example of enduring to the end, they bear strong witness that no matter how great the loss or how deep the sorrow, there can be happiness and healing through the gospel of Jesus Christ.

Pure Religion

I express my sincere appreciation to one and all who are mindful of the widow [and widower]. To the thoughtful neighbors who invite a widow to dinner and to … the visiting teachers of the Relief Society, I add, may God bless you for your kindness and your love unfeigned toward her who reaches out and touches vanished hands and listens to voices forever stilled. …

“Thank you to thoughtful and caring bishops who ensure that no widow’s cupboard is empty, no house unwarmed, no life unblessed. I admire the ward leaders who invite the widows to all social activities, often providing a young Aaronic Priesthood lad to be a special escort for the occasion. …

“‘Pure religion and undefiled before God and the Father is this, To visit the fatherless and widows in their affliction, and to keep himself unspotted from the world’ (James 1:27).”

President Thomas S. Monson, “The Fatherless and the Widows: Beloved of God,” Ensign, Aug. 2003, 6–7.

“The ride to the hospital … seemed to take forever. As I walked in the doors, one of the emergency room attendants came to meet me, to tell me what I already knew: my husband was dead. A part of me died too, that misty November morning.”

Sue Fullmer of Utah, from an essay she wrote on becoming a widow.

Help from family and friends, hope through service, and concerted efforts to feel happiness can fill widows and widowers with the faith needed to move forward.

Art by Brian Kirshisnik, left: The Marriage. Right: Mother and Child.

Pondering the Atonement of Jesus Christ and seeking the companionship of the Holy Ghost have helped many widows and widowers manage their grief.

When my mother died, I needed comfort and understanding. Here are some things that helped me.

I was 13 years old when my mother died of breast cancer. The awkward beginning of my teenage years, mixed with the realities accompanying a great loss, made that time in my life very stormy. Looking back, I realize that there were some wonderful friends around me, even though I felt so alone. They gave me the comfort and friendship I desperately needed, right when I needed it.

Sometimes it can be hard to know what to do when a friend suffers a tragedy, even if the event is not as severe as losing a loved one. But with a little courage, you can do a lot of good. Remember that everyone grieves differently. If you are unsure about how to help, pray for guidance and follow the Spirit. Here are some ideas that might help you.

Act Normal

One of the worst memories I have of the difficult time following my mother’s death is of walking into junior high school the day after the funeral. An uncomfortable silence fell on the hallway, and everyone stared at me as I made my way to my locker. I am sure they just felt bad for me and didn’t know what to say, but I felt so exposed, as though I were on display.

Those first few days back at school were rough, and I really appreciated my close friends who acted normal around me. As always, they joked around, talked about which boys they thought were cutest, and complained about upcoming school assignments. After school we went to the movies, took bike rides, or just hung out. This “normal” time with them was a big relief from the spotlight that seemed to follow me.

Be Sensitive

Avoid saying “Call me if you need anything” unless you are a close friend. This may seem like odd advice, but I remember how many people told me that. I know they meant well, but they were practically strangers. They had hardly ever spoken to me before, so why would I call them for sympathy or help? If you don’t know the person well, just say something like, “I’m really sorry about your loss,” or “I’m really sorry that happened to you.” You don’t need to promise that you will be waiting for a call for help.

If you are close, go ahead and tell your friend that you are available to talk or help, or take the initiative and call to see how things are going. Just be sure to act cheerful instead of complaining about your own troubles, which may only add to your friend’s emotional burdens. Be of good cheer (see D&C 78:18). It is one of the best gifts you can give to a friend in need.

Make a Gesture

Although I disliked awkward stares and too much attention, I did appreciate knowing that people cared about me. I still have the sympathy card my best friend had the whole band class sign for me. I remember feeling so grateful to have some tangible support I could hold in my hands. The card gave me strength and made me feel less lonely. Even now, more than 20 years later, when I have troubles I get the card out and look over the old signatures, picture my classmates’ faces, and chuckle at how horrible our eighth-grade band sounded. The card reminds me that others cared about me even when I felt totally alone.

Your gesture doesn’t have to be a card; it could be a short note, a small gift, or even just a listening ear. Don’t be afraid to do something kind; your friend needs all the kindness you can give.

Be Patient

When my mother died I was so blinded by my own grief that it took me a while to realize how much I needed and appreciated my friends’ efforts, so don’t get discouraged if your friend doesn’t respond right away. The bigger the tragedy, the longer it may take to heal, and the longer it may be before your friend is back to normal.

Remember the Lord’s Promises

Alma tells us that one of our baptismal covenants is to “bear one another’s burdens, that they may be light,” and to “mourn with those that mourn; yea, and comfort those that stand in need of comfort” (Mosiah 18:8–9). You may be nervous about trying to comfort a friend, but remember that “the Lord giveth no commandments unto the children of men, save he shall prepare a way for them that they may accomplish the thing which he commandeth them” (1 Nephi 3:7). Heavenly Father will not only help you know what you can do for your friend, but He will also prepare a way for you to do it. He will give you the courage to comfort.

This excerpt comes from a general conference address originally given in April 1978. Punctuation standardized; subheads added. The full text can be found at ensign.lds.org.

Our bishops face increasing calls to counsel members with problems that have more to do with emotional needs than with the need for food or clothing or shelter.

My message, therefore, is to the subject: solving emotional problems in the Lord’s own way.

Fortunately, the principles of temporal welfare apply to emotional problems as well. …

Principles of Self-Reliance

The welfare handbook instructs: “[We must] earnestly teach and urge Church members to be self-sustaining to the full extent of their powers. No true Latter-day Saint will … voluntarily shift from himself the burden of his own support. So long as he can, under the inspiration of the Almighty and with his own labors, he will supply himself with the necessities of life” ([1952], 2). …

We have succeeded fairly well in teaching Latter-day Saints that they should take care of their own material needs and then contribute to the welfare of those who cannot provide for themselves.

If a member is unable to sustain himself, then he is to call upon his own family, and then upon the Church, in that order. …

When people are able but unwilling to take care of themselves, we are responsible to employ the dictum of the Lord that the idler shall not eat the bread of the laborer. (See D&C 42:42.)

The simple rule has been to take care of one’s self. This couplet of truth has been something of a model: “Eat it up, wear it out, make it do, or do without.”

When the Church welfare program was first announced in 1936, the First Presidency said:

“… The aim of the Church is to help people help themselves” (in Conference Report, Oct. 1936, 3; italics added). …

It is a self-help system, not a quick handout system. It requires a careful inventory of all personal and family resources, all of which must be committed before anything is added from the outside.

It is not an unkind or an unfeeling bishop who requires a member to work to the fullest extent he can for what he receives from Church welfare.

There should not be the slightest embarrassment for any member to be assisted by the Church. Provided, that is, that he has contributed all that he can. …

The substance of what I want to say is this: The same principle—self-reliance—has application to the spiritual and to the emotional. …

Unless we use care, we are on the verge of doing to ourselves emotionally (and, therefore, spiritually) what we have been working so hard for generations to avoid materially.

Counseling

We seem to be developing an epidemic of “counselitis” which drains spiritual strength from the Church much like the common cold drains more strength out of humanity than any other disease. …

Speaking figuratively, many a bishop keeps on the corner of his desk a large stack of order forms for emotional relief.

When someone comes with a problem, the bishop, unfortunately, without a question, passes them out, without stopping to think what he is doing to his people. …

Application to Families

… Fathers are responsible to preside over their families.

Sometimes, with all good intentions, we require so much of both the children and the father that he is not able to do so.

If my boy needs counseling, bishop, it should be my responsibility first, and yours second.

If my boy needs recreation, bishop, I should provide it first, and you second.

If my boy needs correction, that should be my responsibility first, and yours second.

If I am failing as a father, help me first, and my children second.

Do not be too quick to take over from me the job of raising my children.

Do not be too quick to counsel them and solve all of the problems. Get me involved. It is my ministry.

We live in a day when the adversary stresses on every hand the philosophy of instant gratification. We seem to demand instant everything, including instant solutions to our problems. …

It was meant to be that life would be a challenge. To suffer some anxiety, some depression, some disappointment, even some failure is normal.

Teach our members that if they have a good, miserable day once in a while, or several in a row, to stand steady and face them. Things will straighten out.

There is great purpose in our struggle in life.